Baby-making sex myths: Fact or fiction

13 September 2022

Read time: 4mins

Baby-making sex myths: Fact or fiction

Dr Alice Huang

Written by

Dr Alice Huang

Find out more about Dr Alice Huang

Share this

Trying to have a baby can be a very different experience for different couples.

One would think it should be a romantic union of two souls and bodies in the common goal to create a new life. However, for many couples the reality is far from this charming ideal.

For most couples this is an exciting time to start the next chapter of their lives, but for others it becomes a time of stress, especially if pregnancy does not happen straight away.  Some couples will wonder if ‘they are doing something wrong’, and having baby-sex then becomes a chore and a source of doubt.

It’s also a time that most couples will get advice from different sources about the best way to having baby-sex.

Here are 5 common myths of baby-sex to crack.

The best position for baby-sex is… MYTH

There is no best intercourse position or conception. That is to say, you can’t ‘do it wrong’.  As long as you are having unprotected intercourse where the sperm is deposited inside the vagina, you are trying for pregnancy.

You should lie still for 20 minutes with your legs in the air afterwards.  MYTH

When sperm is deposited inside the vagina, it is usually initially in a jelly like consistency. This jelly blob sticks to the cervix (the entrance into the womb or uterus) like a plug, while sperm moves into the cervix and then into the uterus. The plug will remain in position and sperm will continue to move into the cervix no matter what position the woman is in after sex.

Normally, within 20 minutes, the jelly blob liquifies. This is usually when the woman experiences a small gush of fluid leaving the vagina and is often a source of great anxiety as some couples think this means she is failing to ‘hold in the sperm’.

Once sperm liquifies, it will be harder for the sperm to travel into the cervix, and the position of the woman is irrelevant for the purpose of conception then.

In Knocked Up, Katherine Heigl’s character falls pregnant after a one-night stand.

If you want a girl/boy baby, you should… MYTH!

This myth has the greatest number of versions, the order of sexual climax, or the sexual position or types of food that will make it more likely to get a girl or baby. There is no proven strategy to select for sex when trying for a baby. The sex of the baby is determined by the genetic material the sperm carries. The sperm that carries the X chromosome will result in a girl baby and the sperm that carriers a Y chromosome will result in a boy baby.

It is a matter of chance, and in nature it usually works out that 50% of sperm has X chromosome and 50% has Y chromosome. As an example, if it is advised that wriggling your toes after sexual intercourse will result in a girl baby, it will work in approximately half the couples that do it.

Also, it is human nature that positive results are more likely to be reported, so the couples that wriggling toes has worked in getting a girl baby will more likely tell the next couple this has worked. So there is no evidence that there is anything we can do to increase chances of a boy or girl baby, but usually the advice does no harm, and can add to the fun and entertainment value of planning baby-sex.

When we are trying for a baby, we can’t use lubricant.  MYTH

Whilst many commercially available lubricants should not be used during baby-sex as many has spermicidal properties and kills or impairs sperm, there are sperm safe lubricants available that will not impair chance of pregnancy. You can discuss this with your pharmacist.

“If it is advised that wriggling your toes after sexual intercourse will result in a girl baby, it will work in approximately half the couples that do it.”

We have to time intercourse to effectively try for baby. MYTH

Effective baby-sex means making sure the egg and the sperm is in the same environment at the same time. Whilst using an app or counting the days of the menstrual cycle or using body temperature and urine ovulation tests all help to identify the time around ovulation (egg release from the ovary) for the best time to have intercourse, can be reassuring for some couples that they are not missing the fertile window, for many couples it can be a source of anxiety and decrease the spontaneity.

It is worthwhile to note that sperm usually stays alive in the woman’s body for 2-3 days at a time. There are even sperm (called super sperm) that can stay viable in the body for up to 5-7 days. So if a couple just has intercourse 3 times a week on average (that is every 2-3 days), there will always be viable sperm in the body, so no matter when the woman ovulates, the egg will be released into an environment where there is already sperm waiting.


This article was originally published by Bounty Parents

Make an enquiry

Request an appointment

Talk to a fertility expert

1800 111 483