WORKING THROUGH WORRIES
One of our senior fertility counsellors, Melissa Stephens, discusses her tips for working through the common worries that arise as you start to try for a baby.
When you’re trying to conceive, it can often bring on feelings of uncertainty – and as we’ve learned with the COVID-19 pandemic, uncertainty can feel overwhelming and is one of the major causes of anxiety. One of our senior fertility counsellors, Melissa Stephens, discusses her tips for working through the common worries that arise as you start to try for a baby. Here’s the top 4 things to remember.
1. Worries are common across all family types
Becoming a family can happen in many beautifully diverse ways, and whether you’re taking on solo motherhood by choice and you need a donor to help you conceive, or trying to conceive with your partner, it’s helpful to normalise the common concerns that arise. Melissa says, “Many of the ambivalence and worries that people experience are common to everyone contemplating parenthood. It’s a big change in people’s lives, with many unknowns. So feeling worried about the changes a child will bring, such as possible financial stress, questioning if you’ll be good parents – all of this is normal.”
2. Communication is key
Open communication may be the most important way of coping with worry. Feeling heard and understood - and doing the same for your partner if you have one - is a great way to intensify feelings of trust, compassion and belonging as you navigate these new concerns. You may be surprised to learn that your partner is having similar worries to you, and by providing an open line of communication you can ensure you’re aligned throughout this journey. Also remember that people have different ways of managing and coping with stress, so if your partner is not displaying the same distress or fears as you, it doesn’t mean that they are less invested in wanting a family.
3. Consider counselling
If you’ve been struggling to conceive, or perhaps you’re about to start fertility treatment, it can be helpful to talk through your worries with someone completely outside of your family or friends. We understand how important it is to have that extra support, so all our patients have access to complimentary counselling if needed. “Reaching out to a counselor for support doesn’t mean you can’t cope, but rather prepares you for the journey ahead,” adds Melissa.
4. Write it down
Writing down your worries can help you let go of them. If you’re starting to feel the uncertainty rush in, take 10 minutes to yourself and write down what you’re feeling. “The simple act of voicing your worries, even if it’s a note to yourself on your phone, helps to release those thoughts from your mind,” Melissa says.
Writing down your worries can help you let go of them – take a moment and fill out our Worry Worksheet.